Accept the Things You Cannot Change

There are many things in our lives that we have full control over but there are some we don’t. When we find ourselves in frustrating situations which we cannot change, it is important to remember that while we cannot control what is happening, we can control our mindset and our reactions.

Some things are very hard to accept. They can cause pain, sadness, anger and frustration and it is important to acknowledge these feelings.

Acceptance of something you cannot change can help you to change your mindset about the issue and help you move on faster. When we accept the situation won’t change, we can then focus our energy and time more productively and learn to deal with it.

Things you can do to feel better about situations you cannot change:

• Control what you can – Make a list of all the things in your life you can control. These can be small things like ‘I am in control of my words’ or ‘I am in control of what I eat’ and big things like ‘I am in control of how I react to this situation’ or ‘I can change my mind at any time’. Drawing your attention back to the things you can control can make you feel instantly better.
• Put things into perspective – Look at the change for what it is. It might make you have some strong feelings but these will pass in time and you have bigger things to look forward to.
• The past is the past – None of us can change what has already happened. If it is the past you’re dwelling on, it can be helpful to know that everybody has regrets and you are not alone. You can’t change the past but you can decide to forgive yourself and learn from the mistake. Learning to let go of things that hurt you, no longer serve you or that make you question yourself worth will make you feel much better – don’t beat yourself or others up forever.
• A therapist can help you to understand and cope with your emotions attributed to change in your life and help you to accept things outside your circle of control.